Monday, March 28, 2011

Don't Touch My Baby

Everyone wants to look at babies. There is something about those new innocent little bundles of joy that just attract people like magnets- ask any new mom and she will confirm this. So of course I didn't expect anything less with Ryder.

We often park and wait outside of Lucas' school to pick him up. It beats sitting in the car for twenty minutes listening to Alex say "I'm bored" and it is actually faster unless you are the first two cars in the pickup line.

While we wait many people comment on how cute and happy Ryder is and one older lady took particular interest. This lady would stand back waving and covering her eyes to play peek-a-boo. As the weeks went on she came a little closer everyday.

Now let me tell you something about this lady, she seems very kind and nice, I am pretty sure she is one of the kindergartners grandmothers, but I have never heard her speak, not once. I suspect she might not speak English but I have never heard her say anything- not one word.

One week she approached me and stuck out her arms indicating she wanted to hold Ryder, still not saying anything. Ryder smiled at her so I allowed it. She pointed up at the flag, at the clouds showing him things but never saying a word. When the kids came to the gate she handed him back.

The next day she again approached me with outstretched arms. This time she walked around a little more with Ryder-never wandering too far but just enough to put me on the edge a bit.

The third day in a row when she approached me, I said "I'll just hold him". I felt kind of bad- but hey this is my child. For about a week after this she stayed further back and just smiled at Ryder. It probably would have been fine for her to hold him but I just felt uncomfortable with the whole thing.

Last Wednesday, Alex borrowed The Snake Book from preschool, this is the third time she borrowed this book-the girl likes snakes. She asked if I would read it to her while we waited for Lucas. Right outside of the kindergarten gate are a couple of large pillars. Alex and I sat leaning against the pillar, she on my left and Ryder on my lap and we read the story.

We were reading about pythons and boas-did you know they birth live baby snakes- and all of the sudden an arm came from behind the pillar, reached across Alex, across my chest coming within inches of a place that only a couple of people are allowed to be near-one being my nursing baby- to tap Ryder on his arm. My whole body tensed up and I literally had to bite my tongue not to say something I might regret. I then stood up, said 'come on Alex' and we walked away.

Needless to say, she won't ever be holding Ryder again.

Has anyone ever invaded your personal space?


  1. I am so protective of my babys if I dont know you, you will not be hold them. sorry

  2. Wow, that would have totally made me uncomfortable. I wouldn't want a stranger to hold my baby ever. I think you've made a good choice, even if she is just trying to be nice. Where she is not communicating with you, it's not worth the risk.

  3. I have never experienced anything remotely like that. It still blows my mind that a person would do that. Good for you for getting up and walking away. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

  4. Wow. I have never understood the whole baby touching thing. And it goes hand-in-hand with the whole belly touching thing. Stay out of my space and don't touch my kid! Sheesh!

  5. Ok so that freaked me out. Seriously you were super nice to let her hold him in the first place but for her to keep coming around and then to come up from behind and all...that's just a little to creepy for me!

  6. That's weird.
    I don't really know what to say about that weirdness.

  7. Ok, seriously? What's WRONG with people? That's just odd and I don't get it at all.

    FREAKS are among us all.

  8. Wow!!

    I am very aware of my own and other's personal space. I don't like my invaded upon, and therefore, I try to respect others as well.

    I honestly didn't like being pregnant because people felt like it was their God-given right to touch my stomach. Strangers, coworkers, etc. DON'T TOUCH ME! I don't touch you!!

  9. Yikes! That's totally out of control!

    Something similar happened while I was watching my nephew when he was an infant. One of my employees came up to me and started touching his face/his hands, reaching out to hold him and eventually went in to kiss him!

    I almost lost my mind and kept inching back. I mean, of course he's cute, but yikes!

  10. That would be way too invasive for me. Freaky!

  11. People invade my space all the time, I guess I just assumed that *I* was asking for too much space, lol!

  12. Wow, that's kind of creepy. I would keep my distance from her if I was you. It sounds like she's got a bit of unusual attraction to Ryder.

    Yes, when I was pregnant both times, everyone, including male co-workers of mine, wanted to rub my belly. How weird is that?!?

  13. Eek! That would have startled me!

    See, I just do the old 'I'm deaf and do sign language' routine. You'd be amazed at how effective it is at making people feel uncomfortable to the point of leaving you alone, hee hee!

    I'm sorry for that experience, though!

  14. Oh that is a bit much. Jeesh. And IS your baby. I see why you have this problem though...he is so darn cute!!!

  15. I too can't stand the touching. Its just wrong.

  16. Very weird. There is a lady at store we frequent and she has asked my kids theif address, what? Thank God my kids are not in the frame of mind to tell her. What happend to boundaries?

  17. Ugh!
    One time, right after Boo was born, we were eating dinner at a Wendy's. There was an employee there, who spoke little to no English, and she got my attention, and asked me a question (which I still have no idea what she said...). I politely smiled and nodded at her, because I didn't know what else to do. She immediately grabbed Boo right out of my arms, and proceeds to walk around the establishment with her.
    She was only about a week old at the time!
    I no longer smile and nod if I can't understand someone.

  18. Only once have I let someone hold my baby. It was Keith, I think. My arms were full and he was squirming, and he had just spit up all over the store floor (bath and body works). The lady in the checkout line behind me held him so I could get the spit up off the floor, and pay. I was a little weirded out, but so grateful at the same time.

  19. Crap!

    I had people and still do who touch max in she shopping cart and even one lady tried to kiss her. No social boundaries with babies. So weird! But never like the story you just told.

    Although when i was teaching and pregnant with Brennan there was this special Ed teacher that always came up and rubbed my belly in a really uncomfortable sexual way. I would avoid her in the halls or make an excuse to get last her like I had to pee if I couldn't avoid walking past her. It was so uncomfortable! That's my stomach youre touching. Hello!!!

  20. What a weirdo. Sorry you had to have such a creepy experience!

  21. Oh, I would freak out. I have a bit of a personal space issue.

    When my second boy was just a bitty thing, we had a side-by-side double and if anyone one would touch him, my toddler would smack at them and tell them not to touch his brother.

    I probably should have discouraged that, but honestly, I felt the same way. Hands off!

  22. Good grief! I would be heading back to the parent pick up line! Safely in the car! Maybe if you turn some music up loud enough you won't be able to hear Alex say "I'm bored".
    Just kiddin'!