Thursday, February 19, 2009

Boys Vs. Girls

Some will try and tell you it is all nature others all nurture or socializing. I am talking about the differences between boys and girls. I guess I started thinking about this today as we had a tea party. It was a lovely time complete with lots of water and Reese Peanut Butter Cups, as every party needs a dessert of course. We had a wonderful time pouring water from our tea pots, stirring it and then dumping the water in a big bowl and starting again. A bit of a mess was made but it didn't matter as we were just enjoying life.

Lucas used the pink cup, the only choices were pink, yellow and purple... but I dare say, Lucas would have picked pink anyway as it is favorite color. How did this happen? No, I did not dress my son in pink; I did not try and confuse him in some cruel social experiment. It is simply how it is. He will also tell you his favorite colors are orange and red, both a little more socially acceptable. I try not to criticize my son for what he likes, I try to teach him and help him learn how to function in life but something as simple as a color choice, I just let it go... well mostly. I must admit I do find myself saying, blue is daddy's favorite color.

Other than Lucas' pink fetish, he is all boy. He jumps, he flies, he tumbles he hardly sits still. He wants to play with anything with wheels all day long. He is fascinated by how things work.

Now Miss Alex, as we like to call her. She is an interesting one. She is built like a tank, she has been walking and climbing since she was ten months old. She has more natural athletic ability than most kids.. and well maybe even more than her brother. Yes, she gets her share of jumping and tumbling in, but she loves playing with her dolls. She drives them to buy food and then puts them to sleep. She will sit quietly and draw for hours. She mimics all household things she sees in every day life.

Now some may say, because she is a girl and so am I, she is being socialized to do what I do... but then well you've helped prove my point. Did I mention I have not cleaned a bathroom since I have been married, Eric always cleans it and is teaching Lucas how. Lucas sees Daddy, or the man, helping around the house too. Lucas will help out when asked; he even clears his dinner plate all on his own. But other than that he just wants to go, go, go. He doesn't play house so to speak--at least not to the extent of Alex.

I believe we live a pretty well balanced life. We live, play, learn and have fun... but when I see Lucas just running every where he goes and sweet Alex just happily playing quietly somewhere; you won't be able to convince me that it is all socialized. Girls and boys are inherently different and that is what makes life so good and so balanced. You need both, a marriage needs both... a little bit of running around and crazy and an ability to just sit around quietly and enjoy life.


  1. Ethan's favorite color is pink too. And red and brown. At least our boys have two other less "girly" colors that they also like. :)

  2. Ryan's favorite color was yellow and only yellow for the longest time. His yellow obsession is actually traceable in his history. We went out to California to visit a college friend while Ryan was like 8 months old. Tom didn't have many toys and Ryan became bored with the ones we had brought, so Tom handed him a yellow plastic plate.

    It was Ryan's favorite toy for the rest of the visit and when we got home, we had to get some because he was looking for his new favorite toy, which Tom put in the dishwasher when we left.

    Ryan continued to play with his yellow plates and when he was old enough to declare a favorite color, it was yellow.

    Now when asked, he will say yellow and green, or green and yellow. I think part of that is the affects of school and being more boyish and others saying things about a boy liking yellow. He never mentioned it, but the change to yellow and green/green and yellow happened as school progressed. Maybe he is just changing his mind.

    I do find it interesting that yellow and green are very similiar colors. I have noticed that my kids like to pick 2 colors and they pick colors that are very similar, i.e. next to each other in the spectrum of light.

    As far as boys and girls goes, yeah, there are differances that are coded in with horomones, etc and anyone who says differently is pushing an agenda of one form or the other.

    One other thing that your blog made me think about, first children are almost always the smartest. Their IQ is measurably higher.

    Middle kids are the more atheletic ones. Studies ahve show this is the case. I am starting to figure out why, I think. Ryan is the oldest and we had moe one on one time, but even more is the fact Ryan is old enough that we can teach him to do something and then rely on him. If his siblings want something done, we at times say, Ryan, could you do it.

    The later kids tend to be more athletic because of the older sibling. It is well proven out that if you compete against someone better than you, you get better more quickly than the better person beating you. Ryan doens't have siblings at home that are as fast to push him, so he only gets pushed at school or at soccer.

    The younger kids are always trying to beat Ryan, but just can't because he is older. This has made them natrually faster and so when they compete against kids their own age, they are above average.

    So, there are some things that are environmental/taught, but there are some things are inherant to genetics.

  3. Thanks that was fun to read. And I agree with what you said. We always say Alex is 2 going on 4 as she wants to be just like Lucas.