Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The family

Last night around 6:00 PM Eric and I pulled into his parents driveway. I was showered, dressed and part of the outside world once again.. And really it truly did feel like I was coming back from some out of earth or at least out of body experience. I remember after having Alex how it felt so weird that she was now part of our family, and this feeling is ten-fold now, especially since we left the hospital without Ryder.

It was so good to be back with the kids. I helped brush their teeth and read them both a story. It was nice. They both have done so good with everything going on, but it is hard too. Today Lucas said "I want to go home". And I wish I could too... I wish it was possible for us all to just be back home together...but that is not reality now. Lucas has always been a child that has thrived on routine so I know as well as he often seems to be adjusting and dealing he is probably just going crazy inside.

Last night after the kids were in bed, Eric, his mom and I headed back to the NICU for Ryder's care. When the day began I almost felt like I did not know what to do in the NICU, but by this care I felt like we could both jump right in and do it. I was amazed and so happy with how quickly that transformation came as before I had just felt over my head like I was a clueless parent.

Today the kids came for their second visit. I held Ryder while the kids touched his head and looked at him. While they were visiting he woke up and opened his eyes more than he ever has. He truly seemed to be looking at his brother and sister trying to see who they were. It was awesome. Lucas kept saying Ryder was the cutesy baby ever. And Alex said, 'he likes me. He is so soft' and other things like that. Lucas was fascinated by his heart rate and kept naming off what it currently was.

Today I am going to spend the rest of the day with the kids as they really do need it and I do too... But tonight I will be back with Ryder again.

Here is a pic from today's visit. It was just taken with Eric's phone.. And well I haven't fixed the red eye yet.. But it's a picture
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  1. I am glad to hear that all is going well. When I had the boys I didn't have any other kids to balance while they were in the NICU, but with all of Eden's hospital stays sometimes I have felt like they were put on the back burner. It is hard but kids are resilient and forgiving thankfully. You are in my prayers.

  2. Awww poor Lucas. Hey, when you do come back, anytime you want to drop the kids off to play is fine with me.

    I am glad that they are so fascinated and loving him so much.

  3. Oh my goodness.....I took a week off from the computer and come back to find you had your baby early.

    Congratulations are in in order, but I know it won't feel like a real celebration until you have Ryder home with your family.

    Hugs to all. :)

  4. Kids make it through so many changes, happy and healthy, with us worse for wear.

    You guys are all going to do great and Ryder will be headed home with your family very soon.

  5. Precious! He's so tiny in your arms. Perfect family!

  6. You and Ryder look so great!!! Any idea yet how long they're going to keep him, before he can go home? He sure looks like a strong and determined little boy!

  7. Had to swing by here and check on you before I called it a night. Hang tough- you and the family are looking strong and resilient :)

    This part of your history with Ryder will be gone in a flash and you will all be back in your cozy Ca. nest before you know it. Sending you lots of supportive and strengthening prayers 'til then!!

  8. amazing mama. what a cute little guy in his blue. brennan has always been a routine kid too. if it alters, we know chaos will be at hand quickly. he still cries more than the baby when things are off...or on, lol.

  9. This post just makes my heart happy. What great kids you have. All three of them. :)