Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What Matters Most

"Follow me" I hear Alex say to Lucas from the other room. Their voices radiate from the other room as they play together. Ryder is upstairs finally sleeping, his stuffy nose making breathing difficult at times. I take advantage of the quiet and grab my iPad to read some blogs.

I read this beautiful post from Amy. It pulls greatly at my heart strings.

Then Ryder begins to cry. It is way too soon for him to be awake from his nap, his stuffy nose and barky cough are to blame for this.

I hurry up the stairs two-by-two. I can't resist, I pick him up. I grab his blanket and head to the rocker. I hold him up against my chest just like I used to in the NICU. His legs now dangle freely past my lap. I hold his head up against my chest near my heart and began to rock back and forth. He coughs a few more time then his breathing begins to slow. I feel the warmth flowing freely from his body to mine. Back and forth, I continue to rock. My phone gives it's familiar buzz then a beep indicating I got an email. I ignore it and continue to rock my little guy.

Visions of those days in the NICU come flooding back. Days where I lived for those times where I could get him out of his isolate and hold his body up against mine. Where I would just sit and rock and hold him and at that moment nothing else mattered. His entire body fit neatly on my chest, it was only cords and wires running to his body that dangled below my waist then.
Self Portrait of Ryder and I taken with my phone June 30th, edited in Lightroom

My phone beeps again. I try to ignore it but my mind begins to drift, wondering what it could be. I press those thoughts out of my mind and continue to rock. Two more beeps. Why am I suddenly so popular?

Lucas and Alex's voices begin to escalate downstairs. I remember Lucas' homework sitting waiting to be done. Right now, I want nothing more than to freeze this moment....I sigh, kiss Ryder's head and lay him back in bed. He continues to peacefully sleep. I head downstairs, ready to face whatever is next as now I remember what matters most.

Thank you Amy for your beautiful post which helped me remember what matters most.

21 comments:

  1. This was so sweet and beautiful.

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  2. Such beautiful thoughts written so well. Such a tender and rare moment.

    Hang on to them, they pass so quickly.

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  3. Interesting how such important memories come flooding back when simply reminded. I haven't read Amy's post yet, but if it is as touching as this one, it must be something great.

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  4. A tear is rolling down my cheek.

    I love moments like those.

    Makes being a mom totally worth it.

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  5. You chose the better part for sure. And no one regrets doing that. :) So sweet! And you made me baby hungry. . .haha!

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  7. I heard a song this morning called 100 More Years. And it's about this very thing.

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  8. This post was so precious! It makes me want to run and go hug my boys. *sigh* I think I need to start re-evaluating my time away from my kids.

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  9. I still cling to the time when I had just two little baby boys and we would all three climb into my bed and nap together every afternoon. Me sandwiched between my guys. Ok, that was supposed to sound nice but it came out kinda pervy.

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  10. So true! They grow so fast, before you know it he will be to big to snuggle like that! cherish the moments!

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  11. What a beautiful post. I am so glad you had that moment. Running up the steps in 2's to cuddle your baby. Beautiful!

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  12. :)
    You make me happy. I am so glad my thoughts were able to help your day. Those little ones are so precious sometimes it is hard to not hold them longer.

    P.S. I hope Ryder gets better soon! It is the pits having a sick baby.

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  13. This post is so sweet. I really enjoyed reading it. And I just can not believe (even though I see it first hand) how much that little baby has grown!!

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  14. Those are the times we have to treasure the most!

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  15. Oh that shot is so precious. I'm so glad Ryder is doing so well now, considering his early start into the world.

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  16. What a sweet, beautiful post, Emmy!

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  17. Thanks for pointing me over to Amy - I love what a sweet disposition and outlook she has. And, of course, I love your connection with Ryder. Shortmama's right - I can't believe how big that tiny little angel has gotten. I hope he feels better soon.

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  18. I had the same reaction when I read her post the other day! All I wanted to do was go hold my "baby" but I had to wait for her to wake up from her nap.
    And then, her 3 year old rebellion wouldn't let me snuggle with her.
    Luckily, I get to "borrow" a baby 2days a week, so I snuggled that one instead...

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  19. There is nothing better than rocking your babies! It's getting a little harder with my older ones!! ;)

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