No my mother was not absent from my life, she wasn't neglectful or even cruel; completely the opposite in fact. I just don't ever remember playing with her.
You see, I had five brothers and sisters. There was always someone to play with. Between my siblings and the neighborhood kids, who we would run the streets with playing until the crickets started to chirp, I didn't need to play with my mother.
I am sure when I was little she taught me my ABC's and how to tie my shoes- actually scratch that last one- a little boy down the street taught me; which might by why to this day I still make two bunny ears while tying shoes.
But I didn't play with my mother.
She wasn't always setting up intricate activities that would sneak learning and lessons into the play. She wasn't looking at catalogs or magazines trying to think of the perfect princess play date or party. She was just there.
I knew she was there if I needed her, that I could always talk with her, but I don't remember playing with her.
As mothers I think we often put too much pressure on ourselves, spend too many hours on Pinterest or searching the Internet for the newest idea of how to make sure our kids are not only happy but going to be the successful and at the top! Too much time trying to make things just perfect and right.
Now, don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful to plan ideas, activities and little field trips for kids; heck I used to do a weekly Time for Tots day. The key was weekly, once a week I took the time to do a little extra, a little more, an activity that was "pinterest worthy". If some days we simply hung out in our pajamas all day that's okay.
Some days I look back and wonder if I played with my kids at all. They were busy building a "factory" that turned the vintage Fisher Price people into chocolate, putting on a dogie show where their dog (my youngest) performed tricks; I did watch that though and applauded loudly.
This is why I had more than one kid I thought, so they could play together, so they could learn to get along with others, so they could always have a playmate.
Yes, we need to be there for our children, yes we need to be involved in their lives, always teaching and guiding them to be good people; yes this time is so precious and as everyone always says is going to go too fast..... but somedays we might just not play and you know what, that is okay.
Linking with Shell's PYHO