Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Birth Story

Disclaimer: A birth story is about to follow, so if you hate these/they gross you out.. then well you might not want to read. Then again if you have a teenage daughter and you are wanting some good birth control, this might just do it.

October 2004
"Mom, you had better come out sooner. I was measuring really big today so they stripped my membranes, I will probably have Lucas any day now."

A week and a half later - my due date came and went. My mom and I walked around downtown Durango in hopes of helping this boy come out. After walking for a while, we were hot and tired. We went into Coldstone hoping for a drinking fountain. No such luck. The workers seeing me in my ready to burst state took pity on us and gave us each a cup of water. When is he going to come I wondered? Everything I had read about membranes being stripped said I should already have had this baby!

Two days past my due date... still waiting. During dinner I felt my stomach tighten up really hard, are these contractions? In my birthing class they said you would know when it was the real thing, what if I didn't?? After dinner we played some games with my parents and then went to bed probably around 10:30. I lay down and my whole stomach and back seemed to get hard and tight, now this just might be the real thing. I lay there listening to Eric sleep peacefully wondering if there would be another. There was and then another.. and several minutes later another. I started watching the clock. About every 7 minutes. Holy cow this was it. I was beyond sleeping at this point, I lay there and watched the clock.. now every 5 minutes. Holy cow I was really finally going to have this baby. Shortly after midnight I woke up Eric. I told him I had been having contractions for the last two hours about every five minutes. Should we go? We wondered. I walked around for a while, the contractions seemed to be coming more frequently now. Finally around 2:30 AM we decided it was time to head in. It felt funny leaving our house in the middle of the night, almost like we were sneaking out. We left a note for my parents and drove to the hospital. The contractions were definitely consistent and strong but I wasn't screaming out in pain like you see on the shows.. what if they send me home??

After the examined me I was 4 cm dilated and definitely having consistent contractions so they admitted me. A nurse came in to get an IV line started for me just in case it was needed at some point. After three attempts she was finally able to get it right. And after her three attempts I was beginning to feel nauseous. 'I think I am going to get sick', I told her. She brought me a bucket just in time.

After my stomach settled, I lay back to work through the contractions. The walls were covered with this ugly wall paper with lots of little flowers. Any time a contraction came I starred at one of those little ugly flowers and just thought about it and concentrated on it. Eric sat by my side and tried to help me through the contractions but kept dozing off. I enviously looked at him and wished I could be sleeping too. Throughout the early morning I continued to progress; around 9:00 A.M I reached 9 cm.

My mom called and we told her I was close, so we would call after we had the baby. We wanted it just to be Eric and I there. 10:00 A.M.-still 9 cm. 11:00 AM- still 9 cm. Those flowers on the wall were starting to get holes in them from me starring them down so long. They decided it would be best to give me some pitocin to help get things going again. They then recommended that I walk around the hallways some. I did not want to walk around the hallways.. I was tired; I had never gone to sleep the night before so had now been up for over 24 hours. But I was a good little patient and I did. I held on the IV bag cart and pushed it up and down the hallway. Eric walked along side me.. after about the third time down the hallway I felt it again.. "I'm going to be sick!" I said to Eric. He took off running to our room while I stood there trying to hold in the vomit. He made it with the little bucket just in time. A nurse came hurrying over and held back my hair while I threw up in the hallway. After that I went back to my room, I was done walking back and forth.

Sometime in the afternoon, the Dr. came and said I was almost a full 10 and so let's try pushing to clear up what all remained. Well, it didn't work in fact it was having just the opposite affect so she told me to stop pushing. After that those little flowers didn't help much anymore. The contractions which I had been dealing with so well felt horrible, it had felt good to push and I just wanted to! "I want to push" I groaned to Eric with each contraction but they kept telling me not yet.

Finally, after dealing with that for 30 minutes or longer, they said it was time to push. This was it! I was soon going to have a baby. I figured maybe 20, 40 minutes if it was one of those horror stories of lots of pushing and I would be holding my little guy in my arms.

When the contractions came I pushed. Was I doing it right? It is not like this was something I had ever practiced. I passed several bowl movements while pushing so I must be doing something right. I pushed and I pushed. Why don't you try squatting and pushing, it was suggested. I did this. Push, push. His head was right there, you could see the top of his head at times. Now try on your hands and knees, try with your legs like this, etc., etc. etc. I had no idea how much time had passed but it was way more than 40 minutes. Why don't you roll over and try like this? I remember the nurse saying. I didn't want to, I didn't feel like I physically could turn over or move one more time. I was completely and 100% exhausted; but ever the good little patient, I did. The Dr. finally came back in... "she has been pushing for 4 hours." I heard the nurse report. 4 hours!! What happened to my 40 minutes worse case scenario?? They tried one last time to have me push while using a vacuum to help the process. I honestly don't know how well I pushed at that point as I had never been so exhausted in my life..... nothing. At this point I was not on any pain meds and so they didn't want to try anything else; it was decided it was time for a c-section.

I remember laying there as they wheeled me to the operating room; we passed my parents in the hallway who had come over to the hospital at some point in the afternoon. I did not care what happened at this point. I was too tired to care. I just wanted to be done, I just wanted to go to sleep, I just wanted this baby out of me. They began preparing me while the anesthesiologist talked with me about what would be happening. I lay there, my lower half completely numb, my arms strapped down. "I am going to be sick" I told him. He hurried to go find something, he didn't make it back in time. I turned my head and threw up all over my shoulder. They got me cleaned up as best they could and then they brought Eric in. I could feel pressure and movement on my lower half but no pain. And then I heard it, a little baby crying. "Oh someone just had a baby I thought" in my completely exhausted state. "Wait that was my baby!" The wrapped him up and brought him over for me to see. This was really my son! I couldn't believe it.

They took me to recovery were they gave me some oxygen as my levels were low, I began shaking uncontrollably, they gave me something for this and it soon stopped. I was so tired, sleep soon overcame me. I woke up and threw up one more time then was soon back to sleep. I woke up from time to time thinking, I need to nurse my son, but soon was back asleep. Finally I woke up enough that I felt like I was coherent. The brought me back to my room. I did not realize I had been in recovery for more than two hours. All that time Eric sat in the nursery refusing to put Lucas down, just holding him wondering where I was. They had told him I would be back in about 45 minutes, more than two hours later and he did not know what to do. The day I had Lucas, there must have been a full moon as every room in that hospital was filled so they kept me in recovery until a room finally opened up. (When they did the c-section they discovered that Lucas was sunny-side up--why they didn't realize this during the four hours of pushing is beyond me)

I finally got to hold Lucas for the first time.. I couldn't believe it, he was so cute! It was so unreal, was this little guy really mine? The worst picture of me you will ever see on this blog

Time passed, I recovered. I went to the Dr. for my six week check-up where she informed me that since I had pushed for so long when they finally did the c-section there was some tearing so I would not be a good candidate for a V-bac. I remember making it home from that appointment and broke down sobbing as I then felt like a failure for the first time. C-sections were not part of my plan for how I would have my children the rest of my life.

But time heals wounds and emotions and I have came to terms with the fact that it doesn't matter how I had the kids, I was just very blessed to be able to have children. And let me tell you, the second time around, no labor and a scheduled c-section is a completely different and wonderful experience.

And so, all of the above is why on July 1st at 7:30 A.M. I will be at the hospital welcoming number three into our lives. Oh yes, and June 30th I will be at the movies seeing Eclipse for one last night out before we are out-numbered.

27 comments:

  1. I love birth stories!! Thanks for sharing! You poor thing, I can't believe you pushed for that long!! You are super woman!!! It was all worth it in the end though!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I too love birth stories, I even have a book of them. LOL. My focus point was a bottle top from the water they gave me. Enjoy the movie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOVE it!!! I don't love what you had to go through, but it's an amazing story. I'm so proud of you that you continued to be the 'good little patient.' :) And it's true, you look horrible in that picture. :) Not horrible ugly, but just horribly tired and beyond exhaustion. But you have a cute baby in your arms, and that's gotta help, right?? ;) What fun you get to see Eclipse the night before this one comes! Will you name the baby Edward or Jacob??

    ReplyDelete
  4. sheesh! i thought pushing for 2 hours was a long time! i stand corrected. so glad makenzie came out faster.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was nice to read. I felt exactly how you described about having to have a c-section! They were not part of my plan! For several months I felt jealous of my friends who had successful vaginal deliveries. But like you said time is healing, and I'm more at peace with it. I imagine that scheduled c-sections are nicer, especially after experiences like yours.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Girl! I remember all of this, but I guess since when you were experiencing it, I wasn't a mom yet, so it just didn't hit me the same way it does to read it now! You really are amazing to do what you did! I swear I would have died before pushing that long. I only had to push 15 minutes and I thought I was going to die. I'm a whimp though. ;)

    Can't wait for number three!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was only allowed to push with one of my babies, and I only had to push 2 times, so hearing this story almost makes me feel guilty! It's so amazing what a mother's body is made to endure. I look forward to hearing all about the new arrival in a few months!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for sharing your story of courage and endurance. It's such a thrilling experience to hold your baby for the first time, even if you have to wait after a c section to recover. All the best as you prepare for your new son. Your son and my little boy were born within a few months of one another:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow. So sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm glad it is easier now. I hope the recovery is good too.

    My 1st was a little difficult because I had pre-eclampsia but the rest were a breeze. I always feel a little guilty about that.

    Can't wait to see your new one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. WOW!!! That was a long time you spent waiting for it to happen on its own. I can't even imagine how worn out you must have been. It's kinda nice to have the birth time pinpointed this time. July is gonna be here before we know it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. That was a good story! I am so sorry you had to push for four hours...I can't imagine!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Birth stories are so wonderful. Even the rough ones. And yours was definitely rough! I would have quit after throwing up the first time! Good grief. You were very brave to do it again. Hahaha. Even if you knew it would be a C-section.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love birth stories! I can understand your pain. Mine was somewhat similar but ended without needing a C-section thankfully! It's funny you mention Eclips. I had Zander the day New Moon came out and I wanted to go so bad!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Im blown away by the fact that they let you push for four hours!!! After about 45 minutes of pushing for me with my oldest they brought out the vacuum thing and thankfully after about 5 tries it worked!

    ReplyDelete
  15. We are not given more than we can handle. I am so thankful my babies came fast. I do not think I could have handled what you went through. Bless you and your sweet family.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well thank goodness you have your head on straight-- can you imagine if they had scheduled you while Eclipse was being released?! ;-)

    I'm always very happy to read other horro-- I mean labor stories. Wow, you and I would have made great delivery roommates.

    ReplyDelete
  17. LOVED reading this story. Thanks.

    I had c-section. For me, its the only way to go.

    ReplyDelete
  18. so honored to know your full birth story- 4 hours pushing though- wow oh and the vomiting- I never had that and can't even fathom that added in to the mix TOO!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. While I have to admit that I'm happy I haven't had to have c-sections, I'm jealous that you know the day your baby will be born. That is the most frustrating part for me!

    Oh, and enjoy Eclipse :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. You don't like the pitchure, but if I had not been there for both relevant events - your birth and Lucas'- I would say this was a photo of a teenage mother.
    Dad

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh my gosh, that picture is priceless! You poor, worn out, tiny little thing! I can't believe you pushed for 4 HOURS. That is amazing. I had a birth story similar, well, not as traumatic as yours since I had an epidural, but I just never dialated past a 4. When baby came out, she had a ring around the top of her head where she had been trying to come out, my body just didn't accommodate her. Makes me grateful for modern medicine-100 years ago neither me or the baby would have survived!

    You are such a trooper-I'm glad you're having your scheduled C-section in July :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love birth stories! And wow, what a story. I am so glad everything eventually went well. And you are my hero. Pushing for 4 hours with no drugs? I pushed for about 10 minutes with my daughter and was ready to never have that pain again.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Emmy, what an amazing story - you should be so proud!

    I was very close to having a c-section with my first (and third) and you are right, what is important is that they are there - safe and in your arms!

    Thanks for sharing, can't wait for July 1st!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm such a birth junkie, so I enjoy reading birth stories. I've heard of many moms with a posterior baby having the same issues while pushing. I can't imagine how frustrating that would be. One had the dr. manually turn the baby, and she was without medication at the time which must have hurt like heck!!
    Good for you for putting up a good fight and working so hard to get that baby there.
    I'm not a fan of c-sections after having one myself, but I know that when they are necessary you can make them a good experience. I hope all goes well and that you have a very quick and smooth recovery:)

    ReplyDelete
  25. What an amazing birth story! I totally cracked up that you are going to see Eclipse the night before your next c-sec! That will be so nice to have a night out before the craziness/fun of a new baby!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love birth stories! So many of my friends had C-sections and were so upset at first, but then had the same realization you did..OK, so now the semi-funny part...my cousin had a C-section for #1...for #2 she had a VBAC and then she said if she ever had another kid, cut her open...the recovery from the VBAC was worse than any C-section could be...I will never know...two babies...I am done.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are a strong woman. What was the reason pushing didn't work? Did they ever tell you?

    ReplyDelete

ShareThis