Friday, July 23, 2010

I Blog Because I'm Selfish

Some of you have asked me how I can possibly blog now, the answer is simple, a one-word answer: selfishness. Life is insanely busy, especially dealing with Ryder's reflux and trying to fatten him up, but I need to blog. I need to vent (see yesterdays post), I need to journal and I need the compassion and support I feel from your comments. So thank you.

Unfortunately, this insanity has made me unable to leave the support and love on your blogs like I want too, lots of lurking going on while I nurse Ryder though. So thank you for indulging me in this one sided relationship. I will be less selfish someday, promise!

Some of my posts have made a few of you baby hungry; well just in case the time is not right for you, I will now share the antidote.

When I took Ryder for his two month checkup the first thing the Dr. said is he isn't growing enough. At 2 months he only weighed 5 lbs 11 oz. So this last week I have been doing everything I can to fatten him up.

My day goes something like this:
6:50 AM Change Ryder's diaper
7:00 AM- Nurse Ryder 10-15 minutes on each side
7:25-Supplement nursing with bottle
7:35-Hold Ryder upright for preferably at least 30 minutes to help with his reflux
7:45 AM Pump to help increase milk supply, so position Ryder's bouncy seat to try and keep him upright while I pump
8:00 AM-Watch him spit up and have incidents
And then about 9:30 I get to do it all again.

On Wednesday Ryder spit up 12 different documented times (i.e. it was enough to make it worth keeping track of), of those 12 times 4 were the screaming chocking incidents. So yeah, my days are just a little full. But you know I would do it all over again ten times for this little guy. And it is working, at his weigh-in yesterday he is 6 lbs 9.5 oz! He almost gained a pound in a week!!
So thanks for letting me be selfish. Thanks for all of your kind comments and support during this crazy time. I know a lot of people have their own trials which are probably even harder than mine... but as I have learned no matter what your trial is, it is your trial and is hard when you are in it.

And do you know what would make this selfish heart so happy, if lots of you linked up next Wednesday the 28th with your Ten Things to Smile About Lists (shameless plug I know)


  1. It is good to be selfish sometimes. If we weren't a little selfish I think we would lose our minds...faster. :D

  2. Hang in there, my friend. It gets better, I promise. I know, when I was in the trials of newbornhood, that's all I ever wanted anyone to tell me.

    And leaving comments...tisk, silly girl, don't even worry about that!!! You just focus on that beautiful baby boy!

  3. I blog for the same reason! It's my way of escaping. :) Hang in there!

  4. I'm just impressed you are blogging since you are so busy! It's fun to see pictures of your baby boy!

  5. Yay for him gaining weight!! That is so awesome.

    I blog because I'm selfish too. It's my one and only hobby.

  6. There are times when it's perfectly acceptable to be selfish and this is one of them!

  7. Em, I don't think you are any more selfish than the next person, and besides we are all glad you blog too. Just think how much time we would all have on our hands if we didn't have everyone's blogs to read!

    AND, I am SOOOOOOO happy he gained that much weighed. I seriously makes me happy. It must help a little to know all the hard work and TIME you are spending is totally paying off. Does he go in again soon?

    ps-I still really like that picture!!!!!

  8. Way to go Ryder (and Emmy!) on the weight gain! Keep up the good work!

    And I also LOVE the picture!

  9. That weight gain is great! The doctor would be happy to hear that! I hope your milk supply is doing well. I know pumping is just not the same stimulation :-( but hopefully it will do the job! You are not selfish, you are human! It is in our flesh to be selfish. Find me one person on this entire planet that is not selfish and I will eat my husbands boot! You just enjoy this time with that sweet boy (and your other two cuties). I know your days seem long, redundant and stressful, but soon this will all be just a memory. It's tough to be joyful and thankful during trials, but keep looking up. He will get you though it.

    That picture is so sweet! Love it!

  10. You have every right to be selfish!

  11. You are NOT being selfish! You are a great mom!!

  12. I hear you ... I blog because I'm selfish too! I think moms need to have something that is JUST FOR THEM ... a place where they can be who they want to be, say what they need to say, and let their minds run free.

    But I'm amazed you can manage to find time to blog and do all that you do.

  13. M. Russell Ballard (very smart man) once said "Sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children."

    Blogging is helping you fill your well, not making you selfish. If you never got adult interaction I think you would go crazy. Don't feel bad about it. Really. I love reading about you and your trials and joys and adorable family. It helps fill my well. :)

  14. Wow! 1 lb in 1 week? That is great!!
    I've already started my Ten Things list. I'm hoping to have pictures to go along with them. My kids start school on Wed so we'll so how that goes!