I instinctively sucked in my breath, wanting to say no. Why do I do this? "Yes, let's go play." I said immediately feeling peace and pride in the fact that I said yes.
Why is it so hard to want to play sometimes?
We headed up to her room. "I'm glad you can play and aren't busy doing your work like you are a lot of times."
A punch to the gut--the feelings of pride and peace I had just recently felt quickly being replaced by guilt. My "work"-- I am a stay-at-home mom. My children are my work. Is that who I really was, is that how she really saw me?
I remember when Lucas was little and my SIL commented about how much it inspired her that after dinner I didn't jump right up and do the dishes but jumped right up and really played with Lucas.
What had happened, what had changed? Where did I lose that love of playing along the way? When did I get so caught up in my self, and my "work" that I forgot the joy, the joy that comes from laying in the grass looking up at the clouds? The joy of completing a craft, of baking cookies together, of using my imagination and playing house and make believe?
Yes, there are things I truly do need to get done. Yes, it is okay to have some time for myself and take care of me. But has my ME become too large not leaving room for others?
So today- today I vow to try and find joy in playing again. I vow to set aside my work and play first whenever possible. I want to have crafts and project and homemade cookies and all of the mess that goes along with it.
My children are my work. And I am going to do everything I can to make my work as fun as possible, because let's admit it- the pay is pretty lousy.
Linking up with Shell's PYHO