Life and motherhood is a crazy wonderful thing. Some days it can feel so simple, making you think, I've got this, life is easy! Then the next day everything seems to blow up.
As my kids have gotten older, the busy days of chasing toddlers have vanished. In its place there is homework, after school activities and big kid drama, but during my day I have more time.
Sometimes to fill that time I play games on my iPad. I am a big fan of the time management style games. I love getting on and playing, but time can quickly pass and before I know it I have wasted way too much time.
My mom began playing a certain farming game (rhymes with Pay May). I always said I could never get that game as I would get way too addicted.
An ad popped up on one of my games for a different farming game, after seeing it several times I couldn't resist, I clicked over and got the free app. It was fun and I was planting crops, feeding the cows, filling orders, I loved it. As the game advanced new goals and tasks came up that were time sensitive. 'I had better stop in and harvest my crops.' 'Oh, I just need to spend a few minutes to get the next cheese being made.' 'Oh that is going to be done in five minutes, I can just wait for it.' It quickly went from a fun diversion, to something I thought about first thing when I woke up in the morning.
Eric kept commenting about it, I chose to ignore him, knowing he was right. I kept feeling like I should just delete it; I kept pushing that feeling down, thinking it is okay for me to take some time to myself, I can play less if I want.
Yesterday, as I put away laundry, I put on a talk from last year's LDS General Conference, from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. As I listened to his words, which had nothing to do with games or how I spend my time, but his words penetrated my heart and let me know what I needed to do. With tears streaming down my face, I went downstairs and deleted that game.
In life, we will be faced with many decisions, times when we need to choose between good and what is best. Times when something that really isn't bad, can become a nuisance and plague in our life. Times when we have to admit we are lying to ourselves.
As I told my kids what I did (as they were playing the game also), they were a little sad and didn't understand, but as I explained why I needed to do this and that I felt prompted to do so, they knew it was right.
We all have our vices, our plagues, our addictions. Do you make the effort to free yourself, to become who you are truly supposed to be, who you truly can be with all of your divine worth? Life is not meant to be easy, but life is meant to be full of joy! It takes work, it takes sacrifice, but it is worth it.
Here are a few highlights from that talk I listened to- you can read the full talk here.