Monday, July 26, 2010

The little things

I hear the now all too familiar gasp and then the scream. I stumble out of bed swaying dangerously to one side. The exhaustion overcoming my ability to stand. Those times before midnight are the worst. The times when my body has just barely been enveloped in sweet peaceful sleep. I look into your bed, white curdled milk covers your nose and mouth. "Shhh, shhh breath", I plead as I rock you back and forth. This will be the first of several incidents in a row. A hour later when you are settled, fed and wrapped securely up I flop into bed too tired to pull the covers up over my body. I roll over and glare at the red glowing numbers of my clock. 1:05 A.M.

Okay just two hours, please give me just two hours. That's not too much to ask. This plea isn't only directed over to my sweet innocent child but upward to my Father in Heaven.

I hear a grunt, I can tell you are wiggling and awake, not screaming this time. I peer at the clock 3:07 AM. Okay, I say with a smile; two hours and two minutes. My plea was heard, my burden was lightened but not taken away. At that moment in the middle of the night, I was reminded of my Heavenly Father's love. He extends His arms towards us showing us little tender mercies along the way, but rarely fully taking it away. But that is a good thing.

It is through my trials that I have developed empathy, developed compassion and the ability to walk in someone else's shoes, if even just for a short time. It is through trials that I have learned my complete and total dependence upon Him. It is through trials that I remember that there is so much more than just this life and that I have a great purpose and roll to strive for. I am far from perfect, I have a long way to go and I will never make it without Him.

3:07 AM

Now that is a good time of night.


We took Ryder to church for the first time yesterday

16 comments:

  1. Aw. I feel for you! 2 hours and 2 minutes that is better than 45 minutes.

    Sweet baby boy! He is tiny!

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  2. I'm so glad you got your two hours!! I remember those nights. They only recently stopped. Buster was a horrible sleeper until just recently.

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  3. no sleep was the hardest thing for me to deal with. It's why we co-sleep for so long. I barely have to wake up to roll over and nurse them. Now if I could just get my almost three year old out of my bed. Pros and cons.

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  4. I bet he was a hit!

    I can't even begin to understand what you are going through each day and night. I had tough babies, but nothing like this. I am glad you got that two hours.

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  5. So glad you got the much needed 2 hours!

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  6. It's good to be reminded of Heavenly Father's love.

    You and your baby look beautiful in that picture!

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  7. Glad you got those two hours...hope you get more soon! Love the picture.

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  8. I love that you saw that in that moment. That was beautiful, Emmy.

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  9. Well he is so cute all dressed up! I hope the nights begin to get better soon. Sleep deprivation and being a Mommy just don't mix. Do you use a swaddler for him or just a blanket? Both my kids have been swaddled babies. We love the kiddopotomus brand. They can't wiggle free until close to 15 pounds! After that we use a Miracle Blanket... lets just say Lula Mae slept swaddled until she was 9 months old...yeah, she loved it! Plus she slept GREAT!!! Never woke up from spasms! Anyhoo, keep leaning on Him! He will be your only strength through those late nights!

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  10. Love you Emily!! You are doing an amazing job and I wish I could be there to make your burdens lighter, but I'm thankful our Father in heaven is always there for you!

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  11. What a sweet blessing, both the baby and two hours of sleep with a newborn. I remember those days well. I have enjoyed your comments on my vacations posts. it is always great to make new bloggy friends!

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  12. Aw! Big milestone for sweet Ryder!

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  13. I like this post--the picture is adorable too.

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  14. Two hours is a miracle! At the beginning of Colby's recovery I used to plead for 5 minutes of no screaming. Then 10 then 15. It will get easier. I hope the GI dr. had something good for you to try.

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