Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Give Without Judging

"Out of work. Hungry" read the sign held by a man by the side of the road.

The light was red and a line of cars were stopped.  I noticed the driver in front of me turn their head, trying to look away.   I looked in my wallet- no cash, I rarely have cash.  

The guilt started to well up-- but maybe he will just go by booze with it- popped into my head trying to lessen my guilt.

The light finally turned and I drove away.

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Last week, after picking Lucas up from school we ran a quick errand and then headed to the gas station, the gas light now shining it's warning.

I pumped my gas, minding my own business when I was approached.

"I am so embarrassed, my debit card doesn't seem to be working do you maybe have some money you could spare for gas." a young 20ish looking guy asked me.

Why does his debit card not work? Did he overspend and have no money, is it stolen?

"Umm" I said, looking at my pump still pumping and my kids in the car waiting.  "Let me see if I have any cash."  I went to the car and checked my wallet, only $4- less than what one gallon of gas costs.  But then I knew, what I needed to do.

"I only have a few dollars, but once my pump is done I will come swipe my card for you."

"Really?" he asked genuinely surprised.  "Thank you, thank you."

Once my pump finished I headed to their car at the next pump over and swiped my card.

"Go ahead and fill it all the way up.  I will just be over cleaning my windows, so bring me the receipt when it is done."  I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked stunned.
"Yep."

I cleaned my windows while I waited for their pump to finish.  I wondered why his debit card didn't work.  Did he overspend?  Reckless with his money?  Was the card stolen?  That did not matter.  In this moment, it was not my job to judge why they needed help, or what got them to this point where they needed help.  Maybe they were irresponsible or maybe life and it's ups and downs got the best of them or maybe their card really was just having problems.

But it was not my place to judge-- the only thing I am responsible for judging is myself and what I do. They said they were in need and I was in a place where financially I was able to help.  To whom much is given, much is required.

"I only filled it up 3/4" he said while bringing me my receipt.  "Is there anything I can do for you? Can I check your tire pressure?  Fill up your tires?" he sincerely asked.

"Nope, it's fine.  Just do something nice for someone else when you get the chance." I said with a smile while getting back into my car.

It is not my job to judge.

Pouring my heart out with Shell

29 comments:

  1. That was so nice of you to do.

    I never carry cash either. And living in Michigan, with the unemployment rate the way it is, and the nearest big city to me (where I work) being one of the hardest hit, I am faced with people on the corner all the time. Like daily. Sadly, it just becomes routine to me. I don't really even notice them anymore. Wow. I feel bad.

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  2. First of all, you are what's right with this world. God bless you.

    Second, I need gas too. Can you mail me a few bucks? How about just giving me your card number? ;)

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  3. You are such a great person! What a great role model you are for your kids!

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  4. Wow, you are such a great person. I just got goosebumps reading this!

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  5. What a wonderful post. I rarely have anything to give, but when I do, it feels SO good to help someone else out. And the not judging - that's the best part.
    A blogger I read did something really cool for her birthday, random acts of kindness without being asked - you might like this idea. Check it out - http://whenhellomeansgoodbye.blogspot.com/2012/09/27-years-27-random-acts-of-kindness.html
    =)

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  6. This makes me want to cry, it makes me so happy. I have been seeing so much hate directed at the poor and struggling in the media lately, it's been really depressing. I love this. It's so true.

    It is no one's place to judge why someone asks for help. And if you can help, why wouldn't you?

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  7. I know you didn't write this so that people will tell you how awesome you are, but I want to tell you that anyway. :o) What you did was so selfless and inspiring. You changed that boy's day, maybe even more than that. You'll never know.

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  8. You are a great person! What you did was a really nice and hopefully sets the stage for a whole slew of people giving back.

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  9. Great story. I hope I can remember this next time I'm faced with a choice of generosity.

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  10. What a beautiful, thoughtful post! Sadly, the world around us has made more of us cynical so that generosity isn't the first instinct. I know that I've had times when I've been sitting at a light, trying to avoid the eyes of the person standing in the median with their cardboard sign begging for money. And I feel ashamed of myself for doing it. And when someone comes up to me asking for money, making contact, those uncharitable thoughts run through my head. I think I am going to try to carry a little cash on me from now on, though. Because you never know when generosity could turn it around for someone.

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  11. Great story. That's what I try to teach my kids. In the city we live in there are lots of homeless people on the streets and lots of signs on the corners for food or money. I saw an idea from my cousin about a year ago about making a kit to give to people. In ours we put snacks, lotion, chapstick, a few dollars, tissue, a book, water, just a few small things in a gallon size ziplock bag. I keep them in the car and when prompted I hand them out. I don't usually carry cash so this was a great way to already have something ready to go. My kids now love looking for people to help and will ask as we're leaving the grocery store, "mom, see that guy sitting on the ground over there? Can we give him one of our bags?" It's a great thing to teach our children to not judge but rather look for a way to help those in need, no matter how they got to that place.

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  12. Wow!!! You are so awesome. I've been through that one time (when my debit card didn't work) because it had expired and I didn't even notice. I would have LOVED a person like you there. You will definitely be blessed for what you did.

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  13. Now that is paying it forward.

    Thank you for writing this... I needed a reminder that there is still good in the world.

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  14. I want to give you a HUGE hug right now.

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  15. You are just an amazing person. This was a beautiful story and I hope one day I can help someone in need like that.

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  16. That was a really sweet gesture, Emmy!

    Here's a tip from a friend of mine, keep a box of granola bars in your car. Those are something you can give easily, safely and you know that it's helping in the slightest. You feel better than turning the cheek, which I too, have done more times that I care to admit.

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  17. Your an inspiration and it has just made me realise, I am making this comment as I doubt I would have done the same. You are the good in the world, what makes it better. I want to be better too so next time I get the chance, I will! Thanks for reminding me xx

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  18. Your example and the lesson that comes with it won't go unheeded. Thank you for posting, because reading this has changed me in some small way, and with some luck, the change in me will help to change someone else.....

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  19. I'm impressed, and honestly usually so trapped in my own world that I wouldn't have heard the guy's request for help. You're amazing!

    I definitely have to work hard to not judge when people ask me.... it'd definitely difficult.

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  20. You had such a kind heart! What a wonderful thing to do!

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  21. I brought a meatloaf sandwich to a guy on the street once and try to give food, or something practical, not cash. I rarely have cash anyway. Your idea was great, and yes, we need to give when we can. Only God knows the heart of each person, and He alone will judge who is honest, who is truly needy, who is scamming. We will never know that at the time.

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  22. Thanks Emmy for the reminder. Some people have genuine hardships that we never see. I realized that just this evening as I was quick to judge another girl I just met.

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  23. I'm going to tell you that this post brought tears to my eyes. I'm way too quick to judge sometimes.

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  24. Can I just say that I am blown away by this, seriously blown away. You have a good heart, and a pure heart. Like Barbara, I'm finding myself so teary right now. You inspire me to be a better person. xo

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  25. That's awesome! Thanks for the great reminder to serve without judging.

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  26. Awesomeness my friend! And no it is not our place to judge, and you were listening to the spirit who was giving you a prompt. Good on you for following.

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  27. If we can all find it in ourselves to do what you did, the world would truly be a better place. I'm sure he will pass on this act of kindness.

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  28. Once upon a time I used to keep granola bars in my car for the people with those heart breaking signs. This was of course before I had kids who ate all of my granola bars. It is hard, isn't it? To just drive on past those people. What a kind person you are to go and fill up his tank! The world needs more people like you, my friend. People who have the means to give and do it.

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