I know I won't be friends with everyone. There will always be those who for whatever reason we just don't really click. But usually I can get along with most.
That was one thing I loved about BlogHer, being with women with different views but we were able to talk and find common grounds. In fact it hasn't really been since high school since I have encountered someone that I just cannot figure out how to work with (excluding my job as a Foster Care worker- as that is a whole other situation).
Now I am in the thick of it- it is honestly making me feel sick. I ponder and wonder and worry and even dream about it. It feels like every step I try and make forward another jab on injury is thrown my way.
Sometimes I wonder if I am overthinking it, sometimes I worry my own bias may be clouding what is all happening, but then another jab another attack, another self-righteous e-mail sent my way. I have discussed it with others involved and they have all told me I am on the right track and doing right.
But I hate this feeling.
It makes me want to just walk away to give up and quit-- but that decision would affect so many others around me.
So instead, I take a deep breath- praying that I can find common ground, praying that I say the right things, praying that somehow hearts (mine and theirs) will be softened and we will stop making each other miserable, but also know I must stand my ground.
In today's world the anonymity of the internet has made it so much easier for people to belittle and state things that I don't think or I sure hope they would never say to someone's face. It baffles me when people seem to go out of their way to leave mean and nasty comments. Why take the time, why bother, why not just click away?
Today I am choosing to take my "battle" in person, no more back and forth e-mails where tones and intentions can be confused and misunderstood, they are going to have to say it to my face.
Sometimes being a grown-up isn't so much fun.