Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Pouring it Out

Disclaimer: I am not looking for sympathy in the form of "don't be silly you are fine" or things like that, I am just pouring it out and telling how I feel right now. Which is why I am linking up with Shell's Pour Your Heart Out.

It was first my nose...not sure what is was about it, I just didn't like it. Then it was my crooked teeth-but almost three years of braces fixed that. At some point it must have been my ears as I would never let my mom put my hair in a ponytail. Then it was my pale almost pasty skin and time just helped me get over that...mostly.

Now... at a time when I am in my prime and past all of the petty high school drama, I hate my body more then ever. My graying hair really needs to be dyed again. Being home with a baby all summer has made my white skin even whiter. I have this lovely blotchy/scaly patch skin thing going on on my forehead. I am extra large up top because of nursing (which you would think would be a good thing...) and I have a true muffin top. Oh and I am turning 30 next month.

Now before you all say, you just had a baby... I know this but I "just had a baby" for more than three years after Alex was born with nothing ever really done about the muffin and now it is worse than ever.

I literally cannot do a situp. I can do lots of leg lifts and all of the other moves in the palates workout video, but the sit ups.. not one. I think it has something to do with being sliced open three times, my muscles are messed up.

So the question is what am I going to do? Well I am finally going to stop complaining about it and do something about it. Next month my little sister is getting married. I, along with my older sister are some of the bridesmaids... and yeah trying on the same dress (just a bigger size) and standing next to my size two sister really didn't help my self image at the time. It is my goal to not have to wear some sort of slimming garment to her wedding. And if that turns out to be unrealistic-then it will happen by December when I have to dress up for my husband's work party.

So I am joining Shortmama with her Journey from Muffin Top to Skinny Jeans and since I am just joining now here is my plan

1) Eat a good breakfast--no more grabbing something on my way out the door while taking the kids to school. It sets up for all morning snacking whenever I do this.

2) Move more during the day- get down and play with the kids, dance while making dinner, just move.

3) Drink lots more water. Especially since I am nursing this is really important. I have seen the results when I am not hydrated enough-it is so not good.

4) Start doing palates-first the regular workout then the hour long stomach specific one.

5) Do not snack after 7:00 PM-except for on the weekends, because I have to have some popcorn while watching a movie, let's be realistic here.

My goals are to make it so I do not look like I am three months pregnant (and on bloated days more like 5). I cannot do a lot of calorie cutting right now since I am nursing and in fact need more calories, but I want the calories I am consuming to be good worthwhile ones. And I want to lose about 8 lbs. (don't hate me for good genetics--my small size makes my pooch look 100 times worse).

So these are my goals. Now I know all of my local friends will be checking out my stomach after reading this, but good-it will hold me accountable that way.

So wish me luck- I am really going to do it.


  1. We so need to talk. I want to join with you on this one. Maybe we can do it together and report to each other on progress. I've been trying to loose some pounds for months, but it's been too tricky doing it alone.

    Maybe we can do this together!!!

    And no matter what, I truly see nothing but beautiful when I see you!

  2. One of the first things I noticed when I saw your blog for the first time (a vlog entry) was how pretty you are - don't ever think that you're not, that you're not good enough - it simply isn't true.

    I think if you had a pedometer, you'd see that you ARE moving a lot during the day, but the Pilates would allow you to focus on the area you think needs some extra attention.

    And the hour-long stomach DVD? Yikes, sounds like overkill. Don't get so sore that you give up at the kind to yourself (and teach the kids that moderate exercise is the healthy way to go).

  3. Good luck to you. However, I wish I only had 8 lbs to lose.

  4. Good goals! I know you can do it. Even if you can't cut back calories you can watch what type of food you eat. It will help! The water will make a big difference all on its own! If you need a good ab workout to try to look up the Ab ripper x workout from p90x. I bet after about 3 weeks you will be able to do a sit up! No joke it will help those core muscles. Although, I do think c-sections really screw up your muscles. Yuck! It is tough seeing your body change over the years. I can remember being a 0 in highschool and thinking my mom's pants were huge (a size 6) and now.... those 6's are in my closet. Being short makes even 5 pounds look terrible. 4'8" equals not cute when overweight! Don't worry, your body will bounce back! Try not to over do it! You beautiful thing you!

  5. Good luck, you can do it!!!

    I still have my 8 pounds of baby weight to lose too. I just started counting my calories again.

    One thought...I know once I stopped nursing, it made it WAY easier to lose the weight. I know that's countradictory from what everyone says, but for me, I wasn't so hungry anymore. That's when the majority of my weight came off.

  6. Good luck! I don't have baby weight to lose...just weight to lose! Hubs and I are working out daily, and I'm trying to get a handle on my portion control. I'd totally love to rock some skinny jeans by the time I'm 25 (December). Think it's possible??

  7. Good luck with this! I could tell you all sorts of positive about you, but I do know that it's about how we feel about ourselves. Unless someone is a toothpick, they would not call me fat. And yet, I am not happy with how I look. I want to lose the mommy tummy and have my legs be leaner.

    I need to work on this, too! Keep us updated!

  8. Great goals! Good luck with that.
    It's easy for others to tell us we look great but we are always are own worst critic!

  9. Looks like you have started something great. Go Go Go!

  10. Hey! I made a resolution too for this month! I'm tired of not loosing any weight after 17 months! My goals are 1. Eat only one dessert a week (if possible!) and 2. Increase my exercise to 45 mins 5 days a week. Hopefully we can get skinnier together! I'm hoping to loose 6 pounds in the next two and a half weeks before I go to Washington and see a lot of my old friends. Good luck!

  11. Yay! I'm so excited you are on this journey with us!! : )

  12. Hi there...came by from The Things I Can't Say Wednesday meme...I'm your newest follower.

    I think at some point everyone has (one way or the other) felt the way you do. I think the key is to take it one day at a time and make a solid action plan of the steps to take to make yourself feel better. You seem to already be on the right track. Good luck

    The Things We Find Inside

  13. WOOHOO!!! I know exactly how you feel! My major trouble area is my thighs. Even one extra pound shows there like I'm carrying around saddlebags. Gross. My stomach definitely shows the damage of carrying 4 children with flabby muscle tone, and loose skin...but I would rather have it like that, than have a flat stomach and no babies. I have to remind myself of that every day, but it's true...

  14. I feel your pain. Oh how I feel your pain. These last few days I have been feeling especially unattractive and heavy. Add to it, I am breaking out like a 13 year old. What is up with that? But I really like your goals, and am going to do them with you. Please help hold me accountable! And good luck! I know you can do it.

  15. I want to rock the skinny jeans too! Have you ever tried Spanx? I hear they are really good for slimming trouble areas. I have never tried them personally, though I have thought about it.

    Good luck, and do not over do!!

  16. Em, you can totally do this! The thing about losing weight and getting healthier is that you have to WANT it enough to stick with it, and it sounds to me like you want it. Just take baby steps, and you'll be rockin' the skinny jeans in no time. :) Much love to you! I wish I lived near you so I could help you somehow!

  17. Gooooooooo! Emmy!!!!
    I'll be cheering you on!
    I have the same horrible situation with my stomach area and I think it is because of the c-sections. I actually don't have much feeling between my scars and my belly button. ANNOYING!

  18. That 7 pm cut off thing has always been a huge help to me! Good luck!

  19. So happy to have you along!

    The amount of lbs really doesnt matter because its about what makes us uncomfortable. 8lbs or 80lbs, it doesnt matter.

  20. What would life be without your Blast-o-butter? :)

    In all seriousness, good ideas. I usually eat a healthy breakfast (like granola with soy milk) and drink a ton of water. Pilates is great, too.

  21. I'm starting Weight Watchers (again!!) after realizing I've gained even more weight and now weight what my HUSBAND USED to weigh. Ugh. It is so easy to get out of control ... so easy to be "bad" and not exercise. But it is important to keep ourselves healthy ... and it boosts the old self-esteem too. Best of luck!

  22. I seriously think that nothing can make us feel worse about ourselves than the time after having a baby, no matter how good we really look, we just feel bleck! I think you look fabulous but I wish you luck on your goal of being healthy and feeling good! (I love the muffin top to skinny jean, that's a funny title!)

  23. After I had max I went swimming and remember feeling lime I had a vappid space of nothin where my abs used to be. Not that I ever really had "abs" ever before, but I really felt like there were no muscles left. It was the weirdest feeling!!! I don't know when it stopped feeling that way...